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Bunch ofbastards." What happened?" I emulated."I had another one of the endless meetings with a consultant, and herefused to give me something to delay the changes that puberty wasforcing on me. He said we'd examine things again in six months. Sixmonths!" So, you cut your wrists," I guessed."Yup. Went home, and took the guard off my dad's bench saw. The thing is,if you use a knife it's hard to swap over and do the second wrist,because you lose so much strength. Also, a knife wound can be. No intimacy — just a sad whore sucking on my indifferent cock. From time to time my self-loathing waned enough to allow myself the warmth of a seedy cunt, temporarily wallowing in another’s tawdry heat as they enveloped my apathetic member with the same dispassion I myself displayed. I was, however, only ever sated for a few moments before loneliness returned with a crashing vengeance.Did they know — the ones I fucked the hardest — that it wasn’t their stout bosoms or well-upholstered bottoms. I have a plan which starts the moment I open the door to my flat. I quickly pierce the cellophane foil of the ready meal and throw it into the microwave. I take a bottle of wine and open it, pouring more than a glassful and gulping it down. Not that I need Dutch courage to do this, I don’t, I just like wine so much. A pint of water is placed on the counter and I dip into it every now and then. Everything in moderation my mother used to say. God, if my mother knew of what I was about to do she. I was sitting on one of the low bench’s along the wall thinking about this when I decided to perform a stupid little experiment, you know, just to prove to myself that I was totally nuts and could then let the whole thing drop.Sitting across from me was the girl who had been admiring my skills at not stabbing myself; she must have been new because I hadn’t seen her around before. She was, as I had suspected, just as sexy from the neck down as up. She had a soft featured face and voluptuous.
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